Click Here!

  • 1

Reviews for Leviathen's Bloodline

By : Cinnamontea
  • From Blooddutches on February 13, 2008
    I liked this story, but i kind of think you took Pinhead out of character a little. Like you made him a little to nice, but then again i do that from time to time in one of my stories. I really try not to though, but all in all it was a really great story and a very good read.
    Report Review

  • From Tazendra on November 15, 2006
    Oops! I forgot to log in. That Anon review is from me.
    Report Review

  • From ANON - Anon on November 15, 2006
    Well I really wanted to enjoy this story. There is just not enough Pinhead sex out there. Unfortunately it just doesn't suit my taste in fanfiction. I find I can't stand crossovers unless I don't know anything about the series that's being crossed. I am, however, familiar with Shinzon from Star Trek: Nemesis so it kind of bothers me to see him in a Hellraiser fic. But that's just my personal preference and really has nothing to do with how good or bad a fic is.

    Anyway, I did read a few chapters of this story so I feel I owe you some feedback. There were some things I really liked. The part where Tori is with Elliot Spencer just before he becomes Pinhead was very well done. I love how she's just starting to feel intense passion for him when he is suddenly and horribly taken away from her. It was very Hellraiser-esque and I applaud you for it. In general I found the plot of this story very good. Fighting over who will get the princess of Hell. Tori's struggle between doing what's right for her (marrying Pinhead) and what might be best for hell (marrying Shinzon). Lots of tension building up makes the story exciting. Also, the sex scenes are long and detailed, always a plus =).

    There were two things, besides the crossover, that really prevented me from getting into this story. First, there were too many spelling and grammar errors. I'm not expecting perfection or anything but when I see something like the word 'wonder' instead of 'wander' and other common typos it just pulls me out of the story. All you really need is someone to do a short proof reading before you post. The second thing that bothers me is that you sometimes use words or phrases to describe things that I find very unattractive. I distinctly remember reading a really hot sex scene between Pinhead and Tori and the coming across the phrase 'it felt as though there was a hack saw being forced into her vagina'. Ouch! That really ruined the moment for me.

    I don't want to discourage you from writing. There seem to be several people eagerly awaiting the next chapter and I wouldn't want to spoil it for them. Obviously I'm in the minority in my opinion of this fic. I just thought I'd point out my likes and dislikes and you can decide whether you care or not. Also, villains just don't get enough love!
    Report Review

  • From ANON - MemoriamX on June 29, 2006
    methinketh he didn't know what he was getting into...
    hehehehehe...

    you know, there have got to be more hellraiser fans then just us out there, so where the heck are they?
    huh, anyway cute.
    Report Review

  • From ANON - MemoriamX on June 28, 2006
    i can't see that castration thing happening any time soon.
    something does happen next, right? right?
    P.S. are you going to work on your other story?
    Report Review

  • From ANON - MemoriamX on June 21, 2006
    Okay, so Shinzon is dead.
    From here on out are things going to get easier? (spelling, bah.) and are you going to update your other story?
    let me know!
    Report Review

  • From ANON - MemoriamX on June 21, 2006
    Does this mean the story's allmost over?
    where did the horses come from?
    ...and out of curiosity, why did you pick the name Cindy?
    ah well, keep it comming!
    Report Review

  • From ANON - MemoriamX on June 18, 2006
    Close, ScroTum, not ScroDum. so the change from demon to cenobite didn't kill it? i know that would really suck, but with the changing fluids all of a sudden there's no being sure.
    Interesting, so who is now the bloodline of hell? or is there no longer one?
    things could get messy from here...
    Report Review

  • From ANON - MemoriamX on June 15, 2006
    Well, this could complicate things.
    update!
    Report Review

  • From ANON - MemoriamX on June 15, 2006
    oh he does, he does. we've seen him look puzzled in hellraiser 4. but an eyebrow... gods, i can't picture it, can you?
    on to the next chapter!

    P.S. you never responded and told me which your favorite hellraiser movies are. :(
    Report Review

  • From ANON - MemoriamX on June 14, 2006
    Updated! Yay!

    I'm not sure that's what Tori's daughter ment when she said, "Take care of her," but it works!
    Chanard's kinda psyco, eh? Once again I love your little things at the beginings of the chapters, but what's wrong with hugging Chatterer? He needs to feel apreceated! (spelling? oy.) now Butterballs a slightly different matter...
    Report Review

  • From Darkaus on June 11, 2006
    I do love the coments you put at the top of your stories :) but i find my muse dosn't apreceate (Spelling?) it if i talk to him.
    Topec looks away, enjoying his own atmosphere way too much.

    anywho! i like! keep it comming! (...hehehehe) and thanks by the way! i always worry about my sex scenes, (Who dosn't?) and its good to know i'm doing okay!

    update!
    Report Review

  • From ANON - memoriamx on June 05, 2006
    (Why did I jsut say "Mancream?")
    ...hehehehehe! ah, the joys of sex vocabulary! where did most of the terms we use come from?
    that one made me laugh, I had to picture a handcream, for men, you know.
    ...well yes, I do have a strange sence of humor, thank you for wondering!
    Interesting, and yes, I do imagine dominance is important, but you know that.
    Report Review

  • From ANON - memoriamx on June 03, 2006
    interesting take on things! update when you can?
    Report Review

  • 1
T.O.S. | Content Guidelines | DMCA Info | F.A.Q. | Facebook | Tumblr | Abuse | Support | Contact | Donate

Click Here!