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Reviews for The Thin Line

By : JayCeeBee
  • From ANON - AgiVega on August 12, 2005
    I feel more and more sorry for Luke. I feel with Mara, but deep down I am also mad at her. She should have told Luke about her problem before they married. It wasn't fair what she did. Luke had a right to know about Mara's hate for sex before they got married. She should have given him a chance to say no to the wedding or something (not that Luke WOULD HAVE said no, but it still would have been the honest thing to do and Mara didn't do it - she was dishonest).
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  • From ANON - DMS on August 12, 2005
    Wow, Luke is taking the news fairly well. He must be the most understanding man in the galaxy. Poor Luke. I foresee a lot of cold showers in his future. lol Let us hope that Mara and Luke can work through this problem so we can get to some intense love scenes. Great job!

    ~DMS~
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  • From ANON - Mara Look-a-like on August 11, 2005
    Ok well I don't want to kill you but I do have to say that that sucks for Luke. I sort of feel bad for him on second thought I feel really bad for him. Well I truely hope that Luke & Mara can work through this so they can share there love in every way possible.
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  • From ANON - DMS on August 09, 2005
    Nice to see that you finally were able to post chapter three. Great chapter. Mara doesn't like sex!!! Well, that is probably because she has never did any Force-enhanced bootknocking with a certain blue-eyed Jedi Master. LOL.

    Great job!

    ~DMS~
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  • From ANON - AgiVega on August 08, 2005
    Poor Mara... I wonder who made her hate sex (Palpy?)... I hope Luke will manage to make her like it... *wink wink*
    Keep it coming, I'm truly interested in this story!
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  • From ANON - Ace on August 05, 2005
    ouch!

    Plz update ASAP this is looking to be a good plot
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  • From AgiVega on July 31, 2005
    Awww... poor Luke, how frustrated he must be feeling now! I feel sorry for Mara too if she had once been raped... I hope this misunderstanding gets cleared soon and they can have a nice shag at last ;) Keep it coming, please!
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  • From ANON - DMS on July 28, 2005
    Great start. I love L/M fics and I very interested in where this one is going! Keep up the good work.

    ~DMS~
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  • From Sephirajo on July 28, 2005
    Well, you have a fair start here. You allude too much though, without showing enough. You only use snippets of feelings. Also, you can get rid of most of the one word sentences. A few are good for impact, you have way too many. They no longer add impact they make the reader skim over them. You can get the point contained in them across in longer sentences; maybe go for a more artistic approach than a heavy impact one?

    All in all, you have a good start here. Keep workin' okay?

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