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Reviews for An alternative fate

By : jaymclg
  • From ANON - D/H on January 11, 2006
    OMG, your english and grammar is HORRIBLE!!! You need to learn to punctuate and your fic/story is very amateurish
    and this from reading only 5 chapters..

    I'll continue on reading but i don't know how far along i'll get; due to the ABOVE problems with this fic..
    It's very frustrating to read when alot of the paragraphs are not understandable, AT ALL!!


    You're obviously NOT an ENGLISH speaker and english isn't your first language..I'd appreciate it more
    when authors are up-front about their english abilities instead of coming off as an english speaker; but that's me..

    The only reason keeping me from continuing this fic is, one, this is an Anakin(might've spelled the name wrong) and Obi
    slash/fic and i don't want to give up such a fic without at-least reading it through, and two, judging from the reviews i've
    gone through, it seems that it's not that bad, except for the ENGLISH,GRAMMAR,PUNCTUATION, other-wise, it doesn't seem
    all that bad to me..

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  • From ANON - Leoth on August 03, 2005
    Yay To You!
    Write What U Want ^_^!
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  • From ANON - susuc on July 15, 2005
    wow just wow. This is soooooooo good. I'm going to read part two right now.
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  • From ANON - Kaiya on July 12, 2005
    OMG I love this fanfic so much! I can't wait to read the next one!
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  • From ANON - Phoenix Red Lion on July 11, 2005
    I'm rather sad this story is now over...though excited at the same time that there will be a sequel. I've REALLY enjoyed reading your fic and seeing how the plot went. Writing about males giving birth is a tough one...and you did a good job with it. It was kind of hard to follow at first...there were so many characters that it was difficult to keep track of them. But it definitely didn't take away from the story.

    One thing I could suggest is not retelling the stories over and over. Anakin kept telling the same stories to several people several different times. It made the story seem extra long (at least to me) when after a story was told it could be summed up when needed to be repeated. But again it didn't take anything from the story...it is just a suggestion.

    I especially loved the humor in this fic. Apparently Anakin can be quite a handfull when moody...poor Obi-wan. He definitely must love him. *laughs* And I loved all the tender moments...made the story seem more real. I was hoping for a little more action to show how great a team those two are...but I understand that would be rather complicated when one of the team is carrying quadruplets! Yikes! Just wait until those four start walking...BOY are the men going to be BUSY! The names were lovely!

    I'm so looking forward to the next story...I want to see more of Obi-wan and Anakin and how they will handle Palpatine. And I want to see how the relationship with Luke and Sirceus proceeds. Great job and so looking forward to more. Keep up the cool work!
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  • From ANON - ladylina on July 11, 2005
    sooooo.. where's the sequel?? :)

    thanks for sharing... That was one weird story, but I had so much fun reading it!! hhihi
    lina.
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  • From ANON - Ladynaye on July 11, 2005
    Awesome story!! I cannot wait for the next one!!
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  • From ANON - PJ on July 11, 2005
    Great story I really liked this one. I look forward to the next story
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  • From ANON - Ladynaye on July 10, 2005
    This story just keeps getting better and better!! You are a great writer and its obious that you put a lot of time and effort into your chapters!! I just hope we get some more Ani/Obi smut!! I wouldn't mind seeing the handmaidens getting it on too!!
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  • From ANON - SetoKaibaWheeler *too lazy to sign in* on July 10, 2005
    i think you should put up the chapter tonight and then do the sequel tomorrow! whatcha think?
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  • From ANON - Ladynaye on July 09, 2005
    This story is so awesome!! I am hooked to it so I must read more!! Keep up the good work!! And please, more Obi/Ani smut!!
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  • From ANON - PJ on July 09, 2005
    Great chapter I am glad you pretty much skipped the 8 months. And I am glad nothing really happened to them during those 8 months except that little flying guy annoying everyone. Even Obi-wan wants to kill him and is upset that Ani is first in line.. LOL Keep writing this is good
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  • From ANON - PJ on July 08, 2005
    As to my question about the Count I did go back and read the first chapters again and I guess the Chancellor being "kidnapped" didn't happen? Unless it happened before this story started... because you started about the time Ani was put on the Council and the mission to "save" the chancellor happened before that. Sorry for the questions I am not totally awake right now I will be back later and read things again. I am confusing myself. Still enjoying the story so don't stop.
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  • From ANON - PJ on July 08, 2005
    Great chapter. I do have a question I thought Count Dooku was killed during the mission to rescue the Chanceller.... before Luke & Leia were born? Because if Dooku was still alive I didn't think the Sith would be looking for an apprentance (sp?) because there are only always 2... master & apperentance (sp?) So how could Dooku only been killed six months ago? Anyway enjoyed the chappie and glad to see Obi-wan and Ani got to see a bit of action but I hope Ani doesn't over do it and get too tired or something. Keep writing.
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  • From ANON - PJ on July 06, 2005
    wonderful chapter. The reunion with Ani's mother was sweet. So Qui-gon and Obi-wan were going to marry/bond? It sounded like that even though they were both Jedi that it was forbidden or did I read it wrong? Don't worry about it too much it isn't really that important anyway. Did Ani know about Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan? It wasn't mentioned before I am just being curious. This is such a great story that I get "involved" and then I start asking questions and stuff. Don't really worry about answering if you don't want I am sure most of my questions will be answered as the story progresses. I hope they are able to free Shimi without killing her owner. It would be great if she could spend time with her grandkids. She deserves that after being seperated from her son for so long. I am glad you didn't have her die like they did in the movies. Keep writing I look forward to the next update.
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