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Reviews for The Logic of Desire

By : Earelen

From ANON - TheRedPony on October 18, 2003
Earelen, we have been waiting for months. This work is fantastic, its well laid out, well ploted, well written. Your use of dialog and districption blows me away. I hate to think that you ahve stopped working on this story because all of use readers are to lazy to tell you how fantastic it was. *slaps forhead* I should have nominated you in the Golden Spoon awards. Sorry *sniff* to late. Any ways if they do the voting again, I will make sure your nominated.

Please dont keep us waiting, tell us thier is hope for Xan! I would love to see her plugged back in and in agent arms at last.

*hugs* For your great work.

~Zane K. aka. TheRedPony

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From ANON - Evil Queen on October 15, 2003
That was rather cool. I'm so glad to have found the rest of it. I read it on another weebsite like 6moths ago till it dissapered and it's good to read the rest. All i want to know is when will the next chapter be up. PLEASE post more. Don't make me get down on my knees and beg now. ; )
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From ANON - The lost Elven child on September 30, 2003
I mean eight. Sorry. Can't count.
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From ANON - The lost Elven child on September 30, 2003
Wow, this is a really great story. I am a HUGE Agent fan and this is the first i have read involving all three. Good writing, can't wait for part four. Write it soon!!! Lots of Love. Me.
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From ANON - anomaly07 on September 09, 2003
PS: AGENT SMITH! ;) very very very very nice! Hahaha. This fic is so hot! Again, please continue it! Can't wait for the next chapter!
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From ANON - anomaly07 on September 09, 2003
I absolutely love this fanfiction! Please continue it!
What else can I say about this piece? I can't decide what exactly makes this story so good...I think I'll just leave it at amazing, magnificent, etc. etc.... I want more! Thanks for this awesome fic!
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From ANON - Queen of the Pixies on August 26, 2003
Wow. That was cool. I mean Hot. I mean!!! Just right chapter 8 As soon as possible. Oooh the suspence. What's gonna happen? Keep writing, you can't leave me like this!!! ('c',)
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From ANON - Selina on July 18, 2003
Very powerfull! I love your plot, the language and the sex scenes. Though, I'm only attracted to Smith, so I find the scenes with Jones and Brown a bit hard to read ;o) But apart from that - it's beautiful! Plz continue! (I'm also writing on really romantic/P-rated stuff about Smith on FanFiction.Net) Greetings, Selina
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From ANON - Rathenar on June 16, 2003
*wanders in, ducking the fireballs*

Well, I was enjoying this story. I found it when only the first chapter was up, and I thought that that on its own made a wonderful vignette. When I realised there was going to be more, I read on with enthusiasm, and so far I don't feel at all disappointed.

I'm not going to join in the incipient flamewar I can see incoming here, but I just wanted to say I'm keen on this story and want to know what happens next. Earelen, I hope you're not being put off by the criticism you're receiving. You're a fine writer and this is a more than acceptable piece of work, so please keep writing! :)

Rath x
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From ANON - Anon on June 15, 2003
I'm sorry but spending five minutes in the bathroom and then still deciding she'd like to keep seeing these three agents doesn't strike me as particularly healthy or a miraculous change of heart. That's not believable, that's not a change, that does not strengthen your character in any. As for reading your story, what struck me as most important and critical was the feeling I took away from it. The impression I took away from it is "She feels awful but not awful enough to stop sleeping with rapists." That she threw up seems very inconsequential in light of the larger issue playing out in your story. She left the bathroom and agreed to meet them later, that in fact nothing could stop her from coming back to see them.

As for misinterpreting your story, I don't think I particularly care to or want to re-read it merely for the sake of a review. The subject matter bearly appealed to me the first time through.
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From ANON - Jamethiel on June 14, 2003
I'm still trying to figure out why the majority of writers on AdultFanFic.net seem to want to write about rape, rapists, and other wild character deviations. I don't at all like the idea of Agents as rapists, it seems to go against... well, everything we've seen from Smith and Brown and Jones and the rest of the Agents. Ah well. The writing isn't bad, per se... the subject material strikes me as out of character and... kind of loosely plotted. Not to mention implausible.

Well, good luck with it I suppose.
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From ANON - Leilyra on June 14, 2003
I love this story. Xan is well developed and the struggle she has within herself is clearly evident along with the way she succumbs and submits totally to her passions. It's a tough thing to be Xan, sensual, erotic, fun-loving, caught in a world that has her bound by rules and limitations that are harder for her to comprehend and internalize than her passions.
The development of the Agents is excellent. They never stop being agents, yet they are moved by more than the physical pleasures they find with Xan but also the emotional 'high' that comes from being wanted. This comes through in their interactions with the mainframe. It's interesting to watch how experiencing something emotional and meaningful causes one to develop 'fear' which would otherwise be a foriegn concept to an agent. After all, if you care about nothing, you have nothing to lose, then what is there to fear? Yet clearly the agents find themselves, especially Smith, torn between loyalties to 'doing what is right' and the emotional and physical passions he feels for Xan.
The agents become more human, developing in the emotional aspects of connection, while Xan has to find a way to connect herself more to doing what is right versus following her emotional / physical desires.
And to think, all this is wrapped up in highly erotic sexual scenes that leave me wanting more. Rock On!
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From ANON - Anon on June 10, 2003
Ok, I'm sorry, but I just have to say this was unpleasant to read to say the least. It is one thing to write a fan fiction about Agent Smith getting his rocks off with some random unplugged female, but this....

I understand that you wanted to express that this Agents were capable of emotions, but don't you think you could have made it a bit more plausable and less horribly revolting to a potential reader? I just wish you had thought a bit more about what logically could and should happen in a Matrix fan fic that was attempting to shed some light on the Agents. The whole endless scene where they tell her about their rape victims was perhaps one of the most ridiculous and simultaneously disturbing scenes I've ever read. It is one thing for her to be consenting, but being turned on by the rape of 107 people? I just wish you weren't sending this sort of message out in your story though I can only hope you don't sut sut such a belief in real life.I would strongly suggest seeking professional help if you do support this belief.

It is one thing to write mature fan fiction, I just cannot believe the quality of some fics here. I know you were trying and obviously this fic has been well-recieved by others as evidenced by your two betas. I think some of this might have been more believable had this been done over a longer period of time and had your original female character been given a reality pill and a good helping of common sense.

Unfortunately, I could not identify with or like your original female character. She lacks depth, she lacks believability and most importantly a brain. The Agents are not portrayed any better, I'm afraid. Do you really see them as serial rapists? They're grossly out of character to say the least. And "Sympathy for the Devil" is one thing. Sympathy for your characters is pretty much impossible or at best, inconcievable. Maybe this theme could have worked had you approached it more seriously or given this film se a b a bit more though.

Out of character smut really is a complete shame when you could write quality smut that is actually in character and fleshed out. I don't really think writing fan fics like this gives other fan fic writers a good name and certainly leaves a bad taste in a reader's mouth.

I'm not certain you care about such things or whether you have tried your hand at original fiction. I do not by any means hope this review discourages you from ever writing again but I hope it gives you something to think about. No, strike that. A LOT to think about.

If nothing else, that fan fictions should not merely serve as a bleak, dysfunctional distortion of one's innermost fantasies. But also that for most readers, a well-written logical story is the most-rewarding one to read. Pacing, character developement, rational decisions and in character relationships are possible, after all.

For example, you might try reading a fan fic like this: http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=1256893 . It works to accomplish a similar theme, but does so in a much more tasteful way with a good deal of character developement and UST instead of disturbing fuckfests that border on rape. A rape which your female character enjoys.

And on that truly disgusting and horrifying note, I would hope you'd think about things like that through perhaps. Rape in a story should be dealt with logically or so I should think. Sex is one thing, rape is another and the two are NOT the same. The character in this other fic is not actually raped but comes pretty close to it.hinkhink the approach that writer took towards that particular issue made for a much more readable, enjoyable story. Her female character is not nearly so helpless or hopeless. And her depiction of the Agents works a lot better towards redeeming them. Along similar lines, even other fan fics on this site have sent across very clear messages that rape as a form of entertainment shouldn't be acceptable.

Anyway, I'll stop now. I hope some of this helps or sinks in.
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From ANON - node on May 18, 2003
wonderful so far. I love it. Of all the years i've been reading fan fiction, this is the first tim've 've actually puta rea review. Please keep up the good work. i love the matrix. i love the idea behind it. i lust after hugo weaving. he's sexy in any role he plays. i wouldn't mind if i had a onenite stand with him. that's neither here nor there. I hope to be reading more fics like this one from you. Again keep up the good work.
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From ANON - Leila on May 02, 2003
WOW!! That was good!!! Who cares if Smith's in character or not, it's still good!!! Really hope you write more in this story, I'd like to see more meetings between these two.
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