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Reviews for PoTC: Voyage of the Devil's Dowry

By : CaptainSageHarmon
  • From ANON - Anon on March 15, 2004
    Update please. This confusing plot twist is driving me crazy!
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  • From ANON - Anon on March 12, 2004
    please write

    you left us with an odd cliffhanger
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  • From ANON - KiLLeRqUeEn329 on March 04, 2004
    Yes...the tension is...dying. Am I confused, or are you, because I thought Christian was dead?
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  • From ANON - Michelle on February 22, 2004
    I'm so confused, did you explain why women chase Kain?

    Your story is improving. Needs some juice though. The tension is sort of dying...
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  • From ANON - Michelle on February 16, 2004
    You're making great improvements.
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  • From ANON - K\'s on February 15, 2004
    Nice writin', love - keep it up; can't wait to read more.
    btw, I don't have a problem with yer paragraphs - I've seen much worse ;)
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  • From ANON - Michelle on February 06, 2004
    You're making steps forward. Keep it up.
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  • From ANON - Michelle on February 04, 2004
    Definite improvements. You really gotta fix that dialogue habit though, hun. Just hit enter. It will make your stories better just because they'll be easier to read!
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  • From ANON - Michelle on February 02, 2004
    Not bad, you could use to organize your paragraphs better..(not running dialogue together, etc.) It'll make a more readable product.

    :) Just keep on trying. You have a good start.
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  • From ANON - Jamie on February 01, 2004
    Good start so far...sounds as if ouldould become very interesting. A couple of things that could be improved. One, every time a new person speaks that should be in a new paragraph; it is confusing to the reader when more than one person is talking in the same paragraph. Two, the structure which ou used at the end of part two...they were dressed as pirates so that is what they are...is wordy and can lose your reader. And three, you need more description; you use some, like wen you are describing the consistency of the rum, but what does the ship look like? What does Jack look like (you should introduce him at least briefly as you would a new character so that you and your reader are on the same page)? More details about the inside of Sage's cabin and about Sage's and her brother's looks. Do they have dark eyes, pointed noses, etc? All of this will bring your reader deeper into the story.

    Your premise is sound and I look forward to reading more.

    Good luck!

    Jamie :)
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