The Couch

BY : LennyLakshmi
Category: 1 through F > Boondock Saints
Dragon prints: 445
Disclaimer: I do not own Boondock Saints or the characters within, and make no profit from the film or characters

I was in complete bliss as I listened to the sound of roaring waves crash upon the shore. A large smile spread on my face as I dipped my toes into the water. I was finally here in Hawaii, a place I’ve dreamed of visiting but never could afford it. The sun blared on my face as I splashed around like a child again, feeling completely free. Nothing bothered me, not a single fuck was given as I danced around not caring who was around. Life was finally good. My trance was interrupted as music began to play loudly in my ear. I turned around to find the culprit but there was no one in sight. 

Wake me up before you go go,
Don't leave me hanging on like a yo-yo.
Wake me up before you go go,
I don't want to miss it when you hit that high
Wake me up before you go go,
'Cause I'm not planning on going solo.
Wake me up before you go go,
Take me dancing tonight.
I want to hit that high’ 

“Huh?” I whispered confused trying to find the source but suddenly the blue sky had turned black and the once calming waves were now huge and barreling towards me as I screamed trying to get away but it was too late. 

“No!” I screamed as I was suddenly jolted awake to face reality. I gasped for breath as I tried to compose my thoughts and my beating heart confused as to where I was. I squinted my eyes from the heavy sun that shined into my window. It took me a minute to get myself together. I realized I was in my room at least, it was just a nightmare. A groan seeped out my mouth at the fact that instead of warm beautiful Hawaii, I was actually in cold ass Boston. 

“Why.” I whined to myself as the thought of a vacation seemed impossible, I was trapped in a shit hole. I felt my stomach churn as I heard the blaring music continue, that unfortunately was not just a dream but my annoying ass neighbor who loved to play music really really early in the morning. Because you know, that’s what normal people do. I yelled once more as an awful tone deaf voice attempted to sing along with the song. 

“Shut the fuck up, this isn’t MTV Unplugged!” I shouted at my wall. This sadly was not an uncommon experience. The apartment complex I resided in was home to many pot heads and tweakers (I was neither) but unfortunately living in Boston was not cheap at the moment, so I was kind of assed out, but at least it beat living on the streets.

I knew my protest was useless as the music continued to play, but at least it let me vent a little morning frustration instead of physically assaulting my neighbors like I desperately wanted to. But orange isn’t really my color, so I suck it up.

I check my alarm clock and sigh as it read 8:02 AM. It was way too early to be up on a goddamn weekend but seeing as Boy George upstairs was holding a concert no one asked for, I couldn’t get myself to go back to sleep.

“Might as well go for a run before I commit my first felony.” I mumble as I slide out of my bed and walk to my drawer to grab out my favorite running leggings and sports bra, throwing a cropped black hoodie over my bra. I slide on a pair of socks and my faithful running shoes before quickly brushing my teeth and slicking my hair back into a ponytail. When I’m ready to go, I grab my Walkman from my purse and my keys before heading out the door and locking it. I place the headphones over my ears as I make my way downstairs and out into the Boston streets.

At least it wasn’t super cold outside this time, it made my morning runs bearable. It wasn’t the most fun event of my days but it helped clear my mind. Plus it’s not like there was all that much to do in Boston that didn’t end up with you in jail by the end of the night. I sigh in content as Alanis Morrissette fills my ears and I stretch my legs a bit before taking off.

My feet pounds against the concrete, my thoughts running free as I go my usual route. My heart begins to race as the endorphins quickly kick in. The week had been such a shit fest at work I was grateful to be away from it all. My runner’s high got the best of me as I totally lost myself in my mind. If I had been paying attention I would’ve seen the large mint green object in front me and the sound of a man yelling.

“Aye lass, watch out for the-!” A voice called out but I was unable to hear the rest of his warning as I suddenly tumbled over the large object, colliding with the hard concrete.

“Aww fuck.” I grumbled as my stomach lay flat against the ground, luckily I managed to avoid hitting my head, but unlucky that my foot hurt real fucking bad. I was clearly the most graceful person on this planet.

“Are you okay t’ere lass?” An Irish voice approached me as I tried to lift my chest up.

“What do you fucking think?” I grumbled grouchily sitting up prepared to rip this guy a new asshole but my anger suddenly vanished as I stared up into a pair of icy blue eyes. My eyes widen a bit as a scruffy but peculiar handsome guy stared back at me worried. I had certainly never seen this sex on a stick before, I definitely would’ve remembered.

“I’m real sorry lass, I was tryin’ ta move this banjax couch out onto ta street, but ya came flyin’ ‘round the corner and tripped ova’ it.” The man explained but I was too wrapped up in how delicious that accent sounded coming out an equally delicious person’s mouth.

“’s cool.” I replied absentmindedly but my inappropriate thoughts were interrupted by the searing pain in my foot bringing me back to reality, I winced as I cradled it.

“Did ya hurt ya self?” The man asked still very concerned.

“My...ankle...” Was all I could manage to get out.

“Come on lass, we should probably get ya foot looked at.”

I nodded and attempted get to get up but struggled.

“Ya need some help?” yes, you can help your way into my vagina.

“I can’t walk on it right now.”

“Okay.” was all he said as he moved dangerously close to me.

“Umm wait, I don’t-“ I began to protest as he suddenly lifted me up into his arms and walked back up the run down building in front of us.

“Where are you taking me?” I asked cautiously.

“I live on ta ‘tird floor.” he explained calmly as if it was completely normal he was carrying a stranger to his apartment.

“Okay...but I don’t know you.” I clarified slowly.

“My bad lass, me name’s Murphy. Murphy MacManus.”

“Well Murphy, if this is your way of luring girls to your apartment to kill them, I’ll have you know right about know my morning bowels kicks in. I’m not afraid to poop on you, I WON’T go down easy.” I declared in case he was secretly attempting to murder me. I might be slightly disabled but I can still give myself a fighting chance.

“Christ lass, is t’is your way of making friends? I don’t t’ink ya be able to walk all ta way back ta ya place with ya foot swollen like t’at. Oh and by ta way, I’m not plannin’ to kill ya. I’m offended.”

“Well excuse me if I’m just a tad bit cautious of a stranger carrying me to his apartment.” I retorted.

“You’re a spicy one aren’t ya? I’m just trying ta be nice, I feel bad t’at ya tripped over our rubbish couch.” he replied calmly as he entered the elevator. He made no move to set me down so I awkwardly sat in his arms while staring at him carefully. His short brown hair was disheveled and spiky in some places, perhaps he was unaware of what a hairbrush was. Although it didn’t take away from his attractiveness. I couldn’t help but notice that just above the black peacoat he wore a tattoo of Mary Magdalene was imprinted on the side of his neck, as well as rosary that hung. He was definitely a peculiar one.

“Take a picture lass, it’ll last longer.” he said while his lips formed into a smirk and I quickly looked away mostly out of embarrassment with a hint of annoyance. He might good looking but he was still a little weird.

“Why were you moving a couch so early in the morning anyways?” I retorted a bit childishly.

“I don’t know, gettin’ a head start on me Spring cleanin’ I guess.” he replied sarcastically. “Why were ya running t’rough town like a bat outta hell?” he shot back.

“I like to do my running in the mornings, I work late in the day and I’m too tired afterwards. Plus it’s not really safe for a woman to run at night in Boston.”

“Aye, you’re right about t’at one lass.” he agreed. We stayed silent for a bit as the lift ascended to the correct floor.

“So, do ya have a name Spicy?” Murphy spoke just as the rickety elevator halted and the doors soon opened up.

“Don’t call me Spicy.” I replied annoyed. “And it’s Danielle.”

“Ahh, can I call ya Dani t’en?” he smirked again and I kind of wanted to slap him. Partly because I hate being called that and mostly because that smirk was goddamn sexy, but I’m not about to let him know that.

“Fine.” I answered civilly as he walked towards to the last apartment on the left. He opened the door and walked through revealing a rather somber and strange looking apartment. There was hardly any furniture except a kitchen table covered in pizza boxes, beer cans, and used cigarettes. It was extremely weird that there weren’t any walls separating the bathroom so the shower and toilet were visible. There was two beds spaced fairly apart and the only normal thing I could see was a tv and a fridge.

“You have a weird apartment, how do you and your roommate do it?” I accidentally mumbled. Murphy didn’t seem to be offended in the slightest and in fact he laughed.

“Well ya see Dani, when two adults love each other very much they show it by-“

“Not what meant!” I yelled embarrassed.

“I know what ya mean lass.” Murphy laughed again. “And technically I don’t have a roommate, more like a wombmate. I live with me twin brother Connor.”

“There’s two of you?” I asked a bit shocked at the thought of not one but two walking sex on sticks.

“Our ma said the t’ing when she gave birth ta us, and yes t’eres two of us, but we don’t look alike.” he answered finally setting me down on the bed before walking to the fridge and picking out a small bag of ice. He came back to me and sat down. “But in case ya wonderin’, I’m ta better lookin’ twin.” he stated with a wink as I scoffed but blushed inside. He carefully examined my bruised foot while I winced when he touched my ankle. I

“Looks like ya sprained it just a bit, nothin’ too bad t’oh.” Murphy concluded pretty certain as he iced it. After a few minutes he removed his peacoat revealing a fitted charcoal gray tee shirt that showed off muscular arms, as well as another tattoo of a cross on his right forearm. I bit my lip a bit and tried to look away, but it was getting increasingly difficult.

“Thank you.” I said awkwardly. “Ya know for looking at it.” I added trying to be sincere.

“It’s not a problem.” he replied. “Still t’ink ya gonna get murdered?”

“Well thinking about it now, at least my blood would be a decoration on your very bland walls.”

“Aye, don’t really appreciate ya criticism Dani, we worked hard on this beauty as ya can clearly see.”

“I bet you did.”

“Just for t’at, I think you owe me an apology or else t’is ice is goin’ down ya back.” he threatened.

“You wouldn’t.”

“Try me lass.”

“Do it and it might just be your own blood on the walls MacManus.” I warned.

“Oh yea? Prove it.” he said standing up with the bag of ice and attempted to spill it down my back as I screamed.

“Murphy no!”

“Apologize t’en.”


“Fine, have it ya way.” he replied getting closer and closer as he began half ticking me as I squirmed against the bed and protested meanwhile he demanded an apology and simply grinned amused like a child.

“Fine, fine! I’m sorry!” I yelled defeated.

“What was t’at? I didn’t hear ya.” Murphy retorted and continued grinning.

“I said sorry.” I grumbled as he only smirked at me victoriously.

“I t’ot so.” he declared leaning dangerously close so our faces were almost touching. I felt my heart start to beat fast as those icy blues bore into mine. A paralyzing sensation spread through me as I was unable to move from his intense gaze. I had never felt so vulnerable before, what in the actual fuck was this guy doing to me. Murphy didn’t seem bothered in the slightest while both his arms had pinned me in the middle of him. My tough persona had vanished as he hovered over me and he knew it.

“What’s ta matter Spicy, got nothin’ ta say now?” he whispered staring at my lips. I shivered a bit at his tone, slightly turned on.

“Don’t call me that.” I answered shakily before he suddenly crashed his lips down against mine. I gasped at the intrusion but the feel of his soft lips quickly distracted me. When I didn’t pull away, he deepened the kiss as his hands fell onto my waist. I moaned lightly when he grabbed my bottom lip with his teeth dragging them across the surface, unaware that was one of my biggest turn ons. I didn’t even care that his faint facial hair scratched against my skin.

He took his mouth off my lips and moved down to my neck. He delicately kissed the skin then quickly bit it, making me jump. It was not enough to hurt, but it definitely sent tingles down between my legs. Murphy’s hands roamed up and let his fingernails drag across my ribcage. He caressed my neck a bit more before reaching to take my cropped hoodie. When I made no protest, he pulled down the straps to my sports bra down my shoulders revealing my breasts. I moaned loudly when he quickly began palming them and capturing a puckered nub into his mouth. He skillfully swirled his tongue around it before sucking and biting it with pressure.

I felt myself become instantly wet as he delivered the same treatment. There was tiny voice screaming at me, I didn’t know the guy yet here I was in his bed. This was definitely something I usually would never do. Guys in Boston were shady most of time, so to say it had been a while since I was touched like this would be an understatement. The slutty little voice inside head only egged me on.

Murphy quickly moved his hands down to work on removing my shoes and leggings. He pulled them off flinging them behind him mindlessly. Next came my panties and before I had the chance to reconsider, the slutty voice inside took over the driver’s seat.

I sat up as much as I could, hinting I wanted his shirt off. Murphy obliged and pulled it over his and tossing it to the floor. I sighed deeply as creamy muscular flesh was revealed to me. Murphy cracked a slight smile before leaning down to kiss the inside of my thighs. I squirmed when his facial hair scratched the skin tickling me a bit. He treated my thighs just the way he had my neck, slowly pulling down my black panties.

“T’at’s quite a body you got there Dani.” Murphy whispered in approval his hands grazing my stomach. “Pretty and petite, but got hips and ass on ya.” he added amused, that’s Spanish genetics for you. I blushed under his intense scrutiny, his eyes scanning every part of me with an ignited hunger. My usual self confidence was nowhere to be seen. I barely had a chance to react when he suddenly dove his head between my legs, a loud gasp left my mouth at the contact. Murphy’s tongue traveled along my slit, exploring the territory before stopping at my clit.

I bucked my hips a bit as he assaulted the small bundle of nerves, my hands reach down and pulled at his messy hair lost in ecstasy. When he wrapped his lips around it and sucked, the pleasure amplified.

“Murphy.” I whispered. I was squirming against the mattress when it became too much at one point but Murphy held a death grip on my hip bones, pinning me to the mattress subjecting me to his torture. I quickly felt the intensity sweep over me and my fingers pulled at his hair harder. A growl escaped his lips from the action, his teeth grazed my clit in retaliation causing me to yelp, sending me over the edge into orgasmic bliss. I gasped repeatedly as my walls contracted while Murphy’s mouth still tasted me. When I finally came down from my high, my hands released his hair. Murphy licked up every drop of my juices, leaning back up to face me.

He undid his shoes and pants in a rush, followed by his boxers. I blushed as he removed them so he stood there in all his naked glory. Damn, I really have been sleeping on Irish men, I certainly didn’t give them enough credit. He was definitely above average in that department.

“Let’s see if ya feel as good as ya taste love.” Murphy faintly smiled and spread my legs further apart making sure to not bump my foot in the process. He positioned himself in between my legs and I braced myself when he entered me. A slightly pained whimpered escaped me as I adjusted to his size. This certainly wasn’t my first rodeo, but like I said it had been a while.

Murphy carefully slid in all the way, looking at me to make sure I was okay. When I remained quiet, he continued on and began thrusting in and out me while holding onto my hips. His movements were slow but deep. I bit my lip at his body dominating my small frame. He kept that rhythm going for a while before picking up speed.

“Aye, you’re really right Dani.” He moaned into my neck. “It feels so good.”

My arms wrapped around Murphy’s neck, adjusting my body to allow him to go deeper. I moaned loudly as he began to hit spots inside me I never even knew existed. My walls gripping around his cock lovingly, coaxing him for more.

“Oh god Murphy,” I panted in his ear when he started thrusting wildly, his primal instincts seemingly taking over. Can’t recall the last I was fucked this good, or if I’ve ever been fucked this good to be honest. Murphy certainly knew what the fuck he was doing as he controlled my body.

“Does t’at feel good for ya love? Ya like me inside you?” he whispered as I only nodded too out or breath to say anything else.

“Fuck,” he panted continuing to pound inside me bringing me to another release. My nails scratched at his back accidentally making him hiss in pain but a bit of pleasure too. I screamed as my second orgasm washed over me, a little more intense than the first with Murphy in me. Murphy’s breathing hitched as he also reached his climax, quickly pulling out and spilling his seed on my stomach as he moaned. Normally I’d bitch about that kind of thing, but I was so stuck in bliss I let it go, I’ll yell at him about it later.

Both of us came down from our highs, Murphy resting on his forearms still hovering above me. I looked up at his eyes while he gave an undetectable look.

“I don’t really know w’at happened just now.”

“Neither do I.”

“But t’was pretty nice.”

“Yes it was.” I nodded nonchalantly, I didn’t want to let him know just HOW good he was, got to keep his ass humble and what not. Murphy only laughed and gave a small peck on the lips before falling to my side. We didn’t say much else, we just sort of basked in the moment of good fucking. I couldn’t believe my morning had turned out like this.

“I didn’t hurt ya foot did I?”

“Nah, it’s fine. My whole body feels numb now anyways.” I sighed.

“That sounds like a job well done t’en.” I heard him and didn’t even have to look at him to know he was making that fucking smirk.

Just as I prepared to hurl an insult that would break his soul, the sound of a door open made me gasp.

“Aye Murph, good news t’ere’s was a sale at the hardware store I got me some new rope-“ a man appeared in the doorway but stopped when he saw the sight in front of him.

“Well hello t’ere.” he grinned deviously as my skin turned redder than Satan’s ass. I quickly threw a blanket over my body and looked down, ready to die now.

“Connor ya back... early.” Murphy noted rolling his eyes.

“Yea, well I finished me errands sooner t’an expected. Ya know when I left t’is morning, ya were alone. Who might ya be lass?” The man now known as Connor still smirked. He was definitely different compared to Murphy, he was right they looked absolutely nothing alike. Instead of brown messy hair, Connor’s was a lighter shade and spiked up in different directions. His creamy skin was tanner and he seemed just a bit more slimmer. He also had faint facial hair around his sharp jawline and his eyes were just a bit lighter than Murphy’s. He was still quite a masterpiece in his own right, I almost felt like flying to Ireland to personally thank their mom for birthing such creatures, she really deserved a medal.

“T’is Danielle, Dani.” Murphy answered for me while I still looked at Connor embarrassed.

“Pleased ta meet ya Dani.” Connor grinned with a small wave of his hand. “So how did t’is happen anyway?” he motioned to the both of us.

“Umm...well ya know the rubbish couch ya told me ta throw out, I was putting it on ta street when Dani was runnin’ by. But she didn’t see me or ta couch and accidentally tripped ‘ova it...I wanted ta make sure she was okay.”

“Aye Macho Murph strikes again.” Connor smirked with a small giggle while Murphy glared at him as Connor put his hands up in surrender.

“Don’t get all pissy w’it me little brudder. I gotta meet up with Rocco anyways.”

“Well hurry ta fuck up, and ya not ta oldest.”

“I don’t know, why don’t we have Dani here be ta judge.” Connor suggested as both brothers stared each other down while I looked at them confused.

“Fuck off Connor.” 

“Just yankin’ ya chain man, don’t get ya panties in a wad.” Connor retorted before grabbing a black duffel bag.

“Nice meeting ya Dani.” He added giving me a wink. 

“Yeah you too.” I mumbled shyly as he grinned too pleased with himself and walked out the door. 

“T’at would be my twin brudder Connor.” Murphy sighed. 

“He’s special.” I smiled as Murphy laid back down next to me. Despite the awkwardness that just happened, it didn’t take away from what had taken place previously. I smiled as I looked at Murphy still naked. 

“Remind me to trip over your couch more often.”


Song lyrics are from Wake Me Up Before You Go Go by Wham! I do not own any rights to it. 





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